What to bring to a Sausagefest

A little while ago I began watching the greatest show on television at the moment: Girls of the Playboy Mansion (aka The Girls Next Door).

The show is all about Hugh Hefner's live-in girlfriends Holly, Bridget and Kendra. Kendra is my favourite.

The appeal of the show is simple: It's a fly on the wall of the Playboy business; it offers a real look at Hugh Hefner beyond his usual public image; the girls are actually engaging; ..........and every now and again they get naked.

During one episode a while back the girls learned some Elizabethan English for a party or something. During which they learned the rather awesome term, "Sausage Wallet" (to be used instead of "bitch" or "ho").

I love this word so much! Please go forth and spread Sausage Wallet far and wide.


Girls of the Playboy Mansion wrap their mouths around Elizabethan English (includes video) [Jezebel]

I luvz mah lolcats

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Condensation

A while back I switched from watching TV3 to TV1 news. One channel is no better than t'other but TV1 doesn't have Duncan "I suck Nat Cock" Garner. [sidenote: how did he win Best Reporter?]

But Tv1 have started to do something equally as annoying. Every now and again they will glance down at their page notes like they are actually quoting someone or like what they've just said is more "real" because it's written down on paper and not on a teleprompter.

They often do it for the more editorial comments too ("Jones was considered to be a" [looks down] "evil fucker" [looks up] "by many..."), which just make them look like condescending bastards. Simon Dallow is the worst.

Basically I need to stop watching the news.

Dick on a segway

Some guy just rolled down the road, up the wheelchair ramp and into the (small) lobby of our building all the time on his fuckin Segway!

He then went out the other side where someone opened the door for him, and he ducked his way through (yep still on the Segway). Fool.

Retards Need Not Apply

Confirming what I've thought for a long time:

speaking of technology...

I've been burning a dvd now for two frickin hours! That's two hours without music too because the writer does nasty things to my itunes.

I thought we were living in the 21st century man! I'm surprised I don't have to crank a handle to do it.

Work: a bunch of...

Further proof that work sucks, this is from my taskbar:

Bad Film Good

Keeping up with the new theme of this blog, today's hate is Bad Films.

You all know what I mean.

As such I recommend going to see this: Show Me Shorts film festival.
In particular this session called "I See Dead People"

Actually, you know what, just stay for the first film. I hear it's gonna be the best one anyway (it's also the longest).

Ok so this is me...

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A New Beginning

This blog was once a place that I put up funny things I had read, heard, thought of, etcetera. And of course the occasional rant.

Now this blog is going to become a place for me to vent my spleen as it were. A place for my hate to reside. And it should fill up pretty quick because I have a LOT of hate right now.

You might note the time stamp on this post. I'm waiting for noise control to come and shut down the party in the flat beneath us. Think I'm a crotchety old man? Fuck you. You try spending over two weeks without a decent nights sleep because the retards who live beneath you like listening to awful rap music at ungodly hours. Be cool, go down and talk to them? Well they look like they're running a very dodgy tinny house (not one of those cool laid back tinny houses we all laugh about), and I don't wanna get stabbed.

I rang the noise controllers at 12.00 and again at 12.15 (because you need to wait 15mins and call back if it's still noisy) and then again at 1.00 because it got louder. Hence I have decided that we will move out as soon as we can...ok the noise just stopped. It's done that before though, every time they change CD (see the fuckers aren't even using MP3s!). Ah, see it just started up again.