Herald, readers, high

At 8.15am this morning the Herald reported that BBC Radio 1 was censoring the word "faggot" in the Pogues, Fairytale of New York. At 9.00am they reported that this was no longer the case. Wow. 45mins is pretty good, except that the articles mention the passing of a day before the censorship was overturned.

Anyhow to keep with my festive theme and my theme of the Herald and it's readers being dim (or maybe just high), the esteemed newspaper/website reported that it's readers had voted Snoopy's Christmas the worst Christmas song.

Snoopy's Christmas features everything you could ever want in a Christmas song:

• a tense dogfight (pun!) over the battlefields of World War One*;
  
• foes coming together in peace;
  
• vague historical accuracy (which is more than can be said of some carols);
  
• simulated German accents and;
  
• a dog flying a plane and drinking booze.

These, mixed with the awesome vocals of the Royal Guardsmen (though I don't about their new version Snoopy vs Osama - that is not a lie), and the fact that it's not religious put Snoopy's Christmas near the top of my favourite holiday tunes.

Here's my top five:

1. Fairytale of New York, The Pogues
2. Christmas in Hollis, Run DMC (note: the Herald had this listed as "Christmas in Hollies")
3. Soulful Christmas, James Brown.
4. So This is Christmas, John Lennon
   
5. 12 Days of Christmas, John Denver and the Muppets
   

But what song would I put as the worst? Well we all hate those stupid "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" parody songs. But I really hate the Little Drummer Boy. I'll show you "parapa-pum-pum", Muthafucka!**

Anyhow here's Run DMC


*Which at that time was just called "The World War"
**no, I have no idea what means either

Lake?

Why I might not trust Google Maps NZ just yet

Something to look forward to

I am SO excited.

American Gladiators

Just for fun

This isn't an angry post, it's just something slightly fun I came across

Out to get me, thin

I have this sneaking suspicion that New World (yes, the supermarket) is saying something about my current physique. Every time I go there to get one of their award-winning steak and cheese pies (made with actual bits of steak!) they are "out" or "not doing them today". This causes me to turn around and get a healthy sandwich from the make-a-sandwich-bar thingy behind me.

I know what you're trying to tell me. Bastards!

My Thursday Night

Those of you who read the newspaper may have seen this picture (10/12/07 page three, top left):

The actor Giovanni Ribisi (My Name is Earl, Lost in Translation) is in town to shoot Avatar and was snapped by local photographer Mike Roseingrave at Mighty Mighty where Giovanni was taking in the Wellingtonista awards. Or so the paper said.

The actual photo looks like this:


They cut me out!

Thursday was brilliant by the way. The quiz was funny. The awards went down very well (even though the Dropkicks didn't win). Me and my fellow Wellingtonistas and were very merry and partied into the night after a magnificent set by the Blam Blam Blams (they played the Doctor Who theme!).

Afterwards a group of us headed to Hawthorn Lounge and ended the night there (with toasted marshmallows no less).

UPDATE: some of the very funny Wellingtonistas have reworked the image even more:



That is the mug of Damian Christie for those who don't know.

Tis the Season

I love Christmas!* And when I heard that there was going to be a Shrek Christmas special, well I just about puked I was so happy!!!!

From the Herald:

Everyone's favourite ogre will make a special small-screen appearance this Christmas, in the television special Shrek The Halls.

Set on Christmas Eve, Shrek finds himself accosted by Donkey, Puss In Boots and the Gingerbread Man, who try to disrupt Shrek's newfound domestic bliss.

All of your favourite voice actors are back too!!! Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas. All of whom desperately need money.

Shrek is not my favourite ogre though, far from it. Still it is hard to pick. I mean do you pick Gustave Doré's baby-eating ogre from Hop o' My Thumb? Or do you prefer the ogre from Orlando furioso who discovers Norandino and Lucina during their honeymoon?


I don't remember Shrek doing that?

*No really I do love it

Other Terrifying Dimensions

In the future actors will be able to chew the scenery to their heart's content because it won't exist. They'll also look amazingly realistic (unlike current actors) unless the shot isn't a close up, in which case they'll look like cartoons. Cartoons that move strangely. Animals will look like they are being moved by preschoolers (especially the horses). But (and this is a large but) it will all be in spectacular 3D!

Of course I'm talking about the new Beowulf. I don't do reviews (Che does though) but I can sum up Beowulf in one word: Shrek*.

That's what it looked like. Apart from the odd close up of Cartoon Brendan Gleeson (best actor in the film imho). Cartoon Angelina Jolie was the other good looker in the film but possibly because she was naked.

Actually Cartoon Ray Winstone gets his kit off as well but because it's an animated film (and hence not really "art") his man-parts were always covered with helmets or smoke or tableware, making the tense, scary wait for Grendel a Mike Myers comedy (another Shrek allusion perhaps?)

But really I wasn't there for the animation (which was ok but nothing really stunning), and I really wasn't there for the actual film (awful as it was) I was there for the 3D!

I live in 3D every day of my life but never knew that depth was so cool. Sometimes the effect was just a cheap trick of a spear or axe or arrow flying out of the screen. But often the 3D was used to bring a depth to the scene which reflected in the characters and helped the animation seem more real (but not quite). The first Grendel battle scene is one to mention; objects and people actually seemed to move in an actual space.

I am really looking forward to seeing this technology with live action films where the bad CGI actors won't distract me. I have a feeling that the 3D will make special effects seem that little bit more real.

Someone asked on Saturday night (before I had seen the film): do you think [Beowulf] will be as groundbreaking as The Jazz Singer?
Tom answered: Possibly, but the Jazz Singer wasn't a particularly good film either.

* Just to clear things up, I didn't like Shrek either

Collect the Set

Over brunch on Sunday Amy and I were discussing religion, in particular the seven deadly sins. You know them right? Sloth, Wrath, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Pride and Envy.

This came about because I had once again ordered the "Big Breakfast". I thought it wasn't gluttonous, Amy disagreed. A small bit of thought later and I realised that I actually commit all of the seven big ones an a daily basis.

Sloth: as can be noted by my extremely slow script development and multiple unfinished projects
Wrath: um, have you read this blog?
Lust: we'll skip this one
Greed: I want it all and I want it now.
Gluttony: See the big breakfast incident
Pride: I am so vain I think this blog is about me
Envy: you've got it? I want it.

What I was hoping was there might be some kind of discount I can get for having all seven.