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Monday, April 11, 2005

[General] The Ukraine is Weak!

While some might spend their Saturday nights dancing in nightclubs (are they still called that?), going to the theatre or partying until the small hours; we had people round to eat fish and chips and play a board game.

Risk™: the game of world domination.

First let me say this: I was not the first person bundled out. Thank God. I was not in the most commanding position but was able to create an alliance that kept me around for one more turn. Oh and the day before, my idea that we should all dress up as our favourite dictator or military commander was voted down.

This how it all played out…

Right from the get-go Dom (who is Polish but decided to use a French accent when defending Northern Africa) was able to control Europe, a continent he did not relinquish for the rest of the game (pretty much). Jenny (an American controlling “the red army” who used her actual accent) took Africa and despite my best Machiavellian efforts only once did anyone take it from her. Mike (who is not German but played with a German accent and sometimes one that sounded slightly Russian) was subtly fortifying the North East Asian regions of Siberia and Yakutsk. We all thought Mike would be the first to tumble as his dice rolling luck failed him and Jenny established control of the Australian continent.

Amy (who never put on an accent during the game) and I (who said a bunch of dumb stuff but never in a passable accent) were locked in combat for the Americas. I controlled the North for two whole rounds before I decided that someone had to knock Dom from Europe, and I took Iceland. You know that saying about “sleeping giants”…

We kept telling Dom, who had built up quite the fortifications along the Mediterranean, to take Jenny “out of Africa” but it never happened. Jenny, building on her success in South Asia and Australia then swept South America and Amy from the board. With Amy’s cards she fortified and lay in wait.

One turn later she swept North America and me, with my cards she was instantly able to bolster her forces and wipe Dom from Europe. We were shocked. Mike put up a brief stand but, once again, his skill with the dice let him down. The world lay beneath the iron fist of Jenny.

So everyone headed home, I stayed up for a bit to watch the royal wedding which was actually bloody boring. The best bit was a brief piece of commentary from Stephen Fry. He is one of only a few people who can use the English language to its fullest extent without sounding like a dick.

Instead I found myself drawn to TV3 which was playing Baseketball. I know this movie blew at the box office and I know it was just a low brow gag fest. But it was so funny!

Don’t spend any money to see it (ok maybe $2) but do try to see it. With that in mind I will now ruin a small piece of it for you. The two main characters (played by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone who also helped write the film) are best friends who have a falling out but make up near the end to beat the bad guy. When they have their big reunification scene, as with many “buddy pics”, they go to hug but instead have a big pash (or tongue kiss). Man I laughed and laughed.

I dunno maybe I was tired, but it was funny at the time.

By the way, here is what the IMDB said about the wedding:

Royal Wedding "A Flop" for TV Viewers
Saturday's nuptials of Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess Of Cornwall only drew 7.6 million television viewers in their native Britain - compared to the 30 million Brits who watched his first marriage to Diana, Princess Of Wales. More people tuned into watch the BBC's coverage of the Grand National horse-racing, which followed the heir-to-the-throne and his former mistress' wedding in Windsor, England. An average of 6.2 million viewers watched the civil ceremony in Windsor's Guildhall, while the star-studded blessing at St George's Chapel acquired another 1.4 million royalists, bringing the total up to 7.6 million. The Grand National attracted 9.5 million viewers. The Prince's first marriage to Lady Diana Spencer in July 1981 attracted 750 million viewers worldwide.

Ps. For those who didn't recognise it this post's title is a Seinfeld quote.

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