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Thursday, June 30, 2005

[General] Days of Throat Punches

Ah the angry cries of injustice. Throat punching does require a modicum of discretion. I was having a pretty terrible day yesterday. Today, coffee in hand (or rather near hand so that I can still type at a decent speed) and listening to Fly My Pretties, I feel much nicer.

I had a couple of comments yesterday:

XPSP2?
The people needing punching are those who can't get it to work! Usually because they have 1 million pieces of crapware on their computer, then blame Microsoft when it doesn't all work.

I have just reinstalled windows and purged my computer of a whole heap of crap. XPSP2 (which I must admit I thought was a reference to the new PlayStation Portable) only got half way through loading, stopped and then said it couldn’t find a file. I found the file but XPSP2 couldn’t. I dunno maybe something was up with my computer that day. SP2 was nice enough to remove all the files it had transferred to my hard-drive.

Doesn't the whole global warming deniers include the guy who said "old mans beard must go!" You know, the guy who is, like, a famous scientist? Who said that lots of glaciers were getting bigger (except the organisation he said recorded the information said he was a retard)? Would you punch him in the throat?

Yes I would, but not as hard; he’s an old man and I’m not completely barbaric. I have a feeling that Dr Bellamy may have gone a little off the deep end. He’s against global warming; I went to a talk by him where he said so. But then he went and said that glaciers were getting bigger. What’s going on!? He was, and still is, against wind farms for their inefficiency. I would agree to an extent, but at least they are something. I would also punch him at the end of a conversation because he is a jolly nice chap to talk to. [Note: Hackers et al get the punch at the beginning]

Also the person who works for IBM and devised this horrible keyboard (check out where the delete, home and end keys are) that I am using gets one right in the throat AND at the start of the conversation. Give me Carpal Tunnel Syndrome will he. Carpal tunnel sounds cooler and more sci-fi than, RSI, OOS or Kangaroo Paw.

To end on a non-throat punching topic: yesterday Jose sent me these great office pranks. I will supplement his with these ones I found a little while ago. Here is one of my favourites and one of the least destructive:

Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it

Anyone who uses them on me will suffer a throat punch.

1 comment:

ben.run said...

I recommend having SP2 slpitstreamed into an XP installation disc. That way you don't have to install XP then wait another hour while you put SP2 on, it also has some other advantages, but the time and not failing issues are probably the best :-)

Infact I recommend going further than that and making a slipstreamed disc with the latest hotfixes on. I did this a couple of days ago and have a CD with XPSP2 and 19 hotfixes all which get installed in one go. Neat!

I'm off to sort my pencils and protractors now. :-)

Ben.