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Friday, November 18, 2005

[General] All Black is the new black

To paraphrase Tom below (comments on the previous post): Christ on a bike, it’s a beautiful day!

Sun is shining, weather is sweet, yeah. Makes you to move your dancing feet. Oh and WE GOT THE 2011 RUGBY WORLD CUP!!!

I have been given an inside word on what went down just before the secret ballot that won us the cup. New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark (who has larger testicles than anyone on the NZRU board) stormed in and slammed her fist on the table.

“Listen up you pigfuckers! We know that you rigged the last Cup when we ‘lost’ the bid and then ‘lost’ the game to the Australians. If you don’t give us this one then we’ll never take another bribe and never lose a game ever again. You think we’re Chelsea now? Wait and see what happens if we don’t get this decision.”

There was a hurried discussion and many of the board furiously wiped sopping brows. Clark can scare the devil on a good day, and today she was on fire. IRB chairman Syd Millar, who has many demons to hide after “that” night in Cape Town, was shaking like a mouse when the votes were made. Even though this is a secret ballot, Clark will find out how the votes went and then…

This weather is too nice to think of such dark topics though and I do not wish to steal Dom’s thunder on the subject.

A sunny lunch time conversation between myself and a female acquaintance over a copy of trashy tabloid NW resulted in the following:

“Do you reckon Jennifer Aniston is any good in bed? I reckon she’s crap”

“I reckon she’s better than some”

“Like who?”

“Like Calista Flockhart

“Yeah, fully. Who is she [Jennifer] worse than? Do you think she’s worse than Angelina Jolie?”

“Yeah, but Angelina is too weird” [speaker shows photos in NW of Angelina kissing her brother]

“See I don’t think she is as weird as she makes out. I reckon she thinks she’s weird but is actually quite tame. I think Brad [Pitt] should’ve stayed with Gwyneth Paltrow I think she would’ve been hot”


“Cause she would be all ‘I’m going to prove I’m not a good girl’ kind of thing”

“I think she’d be better than Jennifer Aniston anyway”


“She’d keep her goddamn trap shut”


Before you start sending hate mail: I did not say the last bit.


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