[Sport] "Ali Williams hit with wood"

It’s the weekend and what else is the weekend for than sport? Well, ok sleeping in and shopping and brunch. Mmmmm, brunch. Anyway there is some interesting developments this fine morning (which will probably be the afternoon by the time I post this).

Let’s start with Rugby. First, I can now say with some certainty that someone from the NZRU (New Zealand Rugby Union) must read this blog. What is my evidence? The Junior All Blacks (worst team name ever) will play against Australia A, Japan, Samoa, Fiji and Tonga in an annual Pacific Six Nations tournament, scheduled to start in June-July 2006.

Hooray! The big guys are doing something for the little guys. Expect NZ and Aussie to fully destroy the other teams, but not for too long.

The Auckland Rugby Union (ARU) is up to some crazy shit at the moment. First they have said that they are thinking about retrieving Troy Flavell from Japan.

Would that be Troy “penalty machine” Flavell? Would that be the same Troy Flavell who punched his own team mate, Kees Meuws in a maul?

Yep, him. Well good luck with that.

Then the ARU said that they offered Mils Muliaina a generous salary to stay but Mils said he wanted a change of pace. ::cough:: There was also the fact, often hidden near the end of articles on the subject, that Muliaina’s girlfriend, Hayley Armstrong, had been investigated for defrauding the ARU.

Armstrong was the ARU events manager until December. She was investigated by the police fraud squad before the ARU withdrew a complaint to show support for Muliaina.

So the ARU turned the other way for a fraud case (reportedly in tens of thousands of dollars) AND offered Muliaina a huge sum of money but he still left. But we don’t seem to have the world’s smartest people at fullback. Remember Christian “beer bottle” Cullen? And now the Chiefs (Muliaina’s new team) can enter a 100m relay team in the Commonwealth games with Manu Samoa international Sailosi Tagicakibau and All Blacks Soseni Anesi and Sitiveni Sivivatu being some of the fastest men in the game (Muliaina easily would be the slowest of the bunch).

I just read the following on Public Address about All Black Lock Ali Williams (who was a bit of a drongo up until the recent Lions Series):

Turns out Henry asked former All Black captain and manager Brian Lochore to work with Williams to prepare him for the Lions series. In the course of this successful assignment, Lochore said words to this effect to the Aucklander:

"If I see you running around the place with your head in the air looking for an easy try, I'll hit you over the head with this fucking four-by-two."

Heh. If only all motivational speeches were so effective.

Dom just came along and told me that England had scored a shitload of runs over Australia in their first innings of the second ashes test. I was able to stay awake for the entire sentence (I’m not a big cricket fan) and so decided that I would add it the sports round-up.

How about some American stuff?

Ricky Williams is back training with the Dolphins. At a recent press conference, that I watched at ESPN.com, he was saying how there’s no point in looking back at old successes or faults and you should just keep looking at the present and the same goes for setting goals. Setting goals just takes time away from the present. Yeah whatever Hippie*, just take the damn ball and run like Jason Taylor is chasing you with a bat!

*We here at the Hammer actually do not hate Hippies

Ty Law might be going to the Jets. Does this mean I have to retract all of the nasty stuff I said about him?

Terrell Owens is finally at Eagles training camp. He got injured at practice today. I hope he doesn’t stay “injured”. Ah, maybe I’m just being pessimistic. What I found strange was that Owens injured his left groin. The man is so virile he has two groins?

Let’s have a quick squiz at Baseball. The words "sports star drug scandal" means something completely different in the States at the moment. It seems that everyone is on steroids of some kind. Jason Giambi’s neck is now wider than his shoulders.

Major League Baseball’s tough new stance on steroids has come into effect with a penalty of 10 days for a positive test or to put it another way roughly 6% of the season (assuming that the player would have played each of those 10 days). Failing three tests means you sit out 60 days (or 37% of the season assuming that the player would have played each of those 60 days). In the NFL a single positive test is a four game minimum ban (or 25%), three failed tests and you’re out a year, minimum. The Olympic standard is two years for a single positive test and a lifetime ban for a second.

At least MLB test unlike their backwards cousins in the NHL (before hockey fans start writing angry replies I should point out that I am talking about the organisation not the sport). The MLB’s old policy may as well have not existed. For a first test you got counselling. For a FOURTH positive test you got a 50 day ban (or roughly 30% of the season)!

Well let’s wait and see what happens now that one of them lied to congress.

Mahalo.

PS Dom just angrily told me that he is not a Yankees fan as it says here. He in fact prefers the Seattle Mariners.

Steroid Penalties
Penalties for positive tests for steroid use in various pro sports:
	1st test	2nd test	3rd test	4th test	5th test
Old MLB	Counseling	15 days	25 days	50 days	1 year
New MLB	10 days	30 days	60 days	1 year	Commissioner's decision
Minor leagues	15 gms	30 gms	60 gms	1 year	Lifetime ban
NFL	4-game minimum	6-game minimum	1-year minimum	1-year minimum	1-year minimum
NBA	5 gms	10 gms	25 gms	25 gms	25 gms
NHL	No testing
Olympics	2 years	Lifetime ban