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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

[General] Still Lost

Helpfully, Blogger deleted the original post. see below for another quick post on the matter as well.


::Here be Spoilers::

Remember Lost?

You're all doomed...DOOMED!!!

Remember how pissed we all were when it came to an anticlimax?

Well I thought that now would be a good time, because nothing else is going on, to discuss Lost theories.

From the show’s inception people have been coming up with crazy ideas about what is really happening on the island. People’s theories can be put into one of two boxes: Reality and Supernatural. Reality Theories are the ones that might have a logical explanation such as: there are polar bears because it is a zoo; the guys in the boat are pirate slave traders. Supernatural ones are, unsurprisingly, the more outlandish theories: the island is a creation of the psychic boy; a plot by an evil genius (alá The Prisoner); or the internet’s favourite, they are in Purgatory.

I thought that I might just brainstorm and come up with a few. First though here are some of the theories I have heard from friends, the internet and others. I will NOT be picking holes in theories. There’s no fun in being the “best”.


All of the survivors actually died and are in Purgatory waiting for judgement. So when someone dies (Boone, Yay! Boone died Woo!*) they have actually gone on to a better place. The “tasks” they are set make them confront their demons and so allow them to be judged.

* We at The Hammer dislike Boone.

Giant Robots:

This theory mainly revolves around the big tree shaking thing (revealed in the season final to be a cloud of smoke). But the thing that really makes this theory popular is that EVERYONE likes big robots! Those who say they don’t are lying to try and look cool.

Evil Genius (I love you Wikipedia):

We all wanted Lock and jack to open the hatch and see some bald guy in chair stroking a cat, perhaps a big super computer behind him or something. Instead we got a ladder. Maybe it’s an evil ladder….Oooooooooo.

Now let’s go off the beaten track, so to speak.

Aliens and the future:

The gang are just part of a big alien experiment. They are being tested and stressed to see what humans do. This has been extrapolated to the plane travelling through a wormhole into the future and then the same things happening.

José’s (great writer; poor speller) idea:

After seeing the season final I had to rethink my theory that the island was populated by giant people ala land of the lost (is that what that old tv show was called?) [Ed: nope it wasn’t, any ideas, anyone?]

My new theory is that Lost is a sequal to Fantasy Island. Since the old tv series with Tattoo the island has been deserted because modern day people have lost their sense of wonder (or some shit) and has warped into the anti-fantasy island.

My guess is when they get to whatever is at the bottom of that ladder they'll find Ricardo Montebaln and that darwf fella playing cards and moaning about how people "don't care anymore."

The “darwf fella” to whom José refers is the late Hervé Villechaize who played Tattoo. I like this idea. Except I think that the island’s magical power came from an evil source which has got out of control.

Voted off:

In a similar vein to the aliens and future ideas, the survivors have been plunged into an extreme version of the show Survivor. The others (of which Evil Ethan is a part) are television executives, (which is why they are creepy and evil). The others want to get all the kids (Walt the psychic boy and Aaron the baby) off the show because children are not covered by the shows insurance.

What’s in a name?:

What indeed? There are some theories that the main clue to deciphering the series is in the name LOST. Is it an acronym? (Land Of Strange Theories; Losers Overanalysing Stupid Television). Does it actually mean something else? Like … um … I can’t actually think of anything but a Google search will help you out.

Well that’ll do for this morning. Hope you get thinking about this. Here is Wikipedia’s entry on the subject. If you got a crazy theory of your own please add it to the comments at the bottom. We won’t judge here friend.

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